The Preferred Person Bond in BPD: Indicators and Threats
In the realm of borderline personality disorder (BPD), a "favorite person" (FP) refers to someone who holds a significant emotional role in an individual's life. This person serves as a source of support and reassurance, easing feelings of anxiety and fear of abandonment that are common in BPD.
The bond between an individual and their FP can be profound, often taking center stage in their lives. However, as a 2022 data mining study indicates, this intense relationship may lead to dependency and issues like fear of rejection, causing further struggles.
Favorite person relationships can take various forms, like friendships, romantic relationships, family bonds, or even with professionals like therapists or teachers. It's crucial to note that these relationships are spontaneous, often resulting from the individual's subconscious need for support.
There are signals that may indicate the presence of an FP in someone with BPD. Characteristics can include heavy reliance on the person for support, frequent seeking of their approval, and strong emotions when they are not available. On the flip side, signs of being the FP may be observing the individual's frequent contact, intense emotional reactions, and the tendency to perceive setting boundaries as rejection.
The relationship between a person with BPD and their FP comes with risks, such as increased anxiety, fear of abandonment, and self-harm when the FP is perceived to be pulling away. As a result, this pressure may impact the FP's mental health as well.
The question of whether a healthy BPD-FP relationship is possible is uncertain, as research is limited on the topic. A 2022 study suggests that these relationships can be dysfunctional, but they may not encompass the full spectrum of possibilities.
Ultimately, creating a healthier relationship involves setting boundaries, practicing open communication, seeking professional support, and building emotional stability. By recognizing the insecurity of the attachment, avoiding manipulation and abuse, and fostering emotional stability, both individuals can work towards a more balanced, less volatile relationship.
Individuals with BPD may benefit from treatments like dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) or cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). These therapies equip clients with coping strategies and tools to manage intense emotions and build healthier relationships. For those who may be the FP, consulting a therapist to understand the dynamics and establish healthy boundaries can also be beneficial.
It's essential to remember that BPD-FP relationships are complex and may not always be straightforward to navigate. Seeking professional support can help manage these dynamics more effectively.
The intense relationships with a favorite person (FP) can impact both individuals, often leading to dependency and fears of rejection for the person with BPD. These relationships can take various forms, such as friendships, romantic relationships, or professional connections, arising spontaneously due to the individual's subconscious need for support.
