"During my pregnancy, I was violently assaulted, leading to the loss of five unborn children."
Rewritten Article:
Anna, not her real name, glances over every time a car whizzes by while we chat. "I'm on high alert, always expecting him to pop up behind my back." She's just hit 30, teaches at a high school in Asti, and has been a single mom for three years. Where's daddy? "We split four years back. He used to give me a beating and threaten me, so I lost five pregnancies." Lately, she's found herself in a "catch-22" situation: "I'm forced to drag my daughter to meetings with her dad, as he refused to acknowledge her."
Back to the start, darling? "In 2019. He seemed like a regular chap, kept his anger in check. But the more time passed, the more things changed."
How, you ask? "Initially, he'd scream at me: called me a bitch, said I was wrecking the family, accused me of cheating."
And then what, pray tell? "The first punch came one evening after work. I picked up my phone—he thought it was his. He grabbed me."
Naturally, I ran for cover. "Skedaddled to the inner courtyard of our condo. He followed, shoving me, making me fall. I was pregnant. Not long after, I lost the baby."
Buzzkill, the neighbors, right? "We shouted at eleven in the night in the common courtyard. Guess no one called the cops, though it's impossible they didn't see or hear us."
Any other fun incidents to share? "Loads, living in fear. Once he beat my pooch, putting it into a coma. I had a panic attack and, a few days later, I lost the baby."
So, when did you finally snap? "July 25, 2021."
You've got that date tattooed on your memory. "Can't forget it."
What transpired that day, if I may ask? "Sunday morning, hot as blazes, and we only had AC in the living room. I decided to laze on the couch, but he couldn't stand it. Began with insults. Then he lost it, probably realized I was recording him. He started yanking my hair, then tried kicking me—hit my belly."
Moving on to the trial, any juicy details? "In 2022, he was found guilty of abuse, sentenced to two years in prison. On appeal, it shrank to 20 days for personal violence and continuous threats. The compensation shrank from 5k to 300 euros."
Any closure there? "Hell, no. On Aug 2, 2021, I encountered him at the pharmacy. Coming out, I saw him approaching. Ducked out, and he tried to run me over. Later, I was in a shopping center with a relative. As soon as she ducked into the bathroom, I felt someone grab my shoulders. It was him."
Is that all, mate? "Far from it. After our daughter was born, he demanded a DNA test. Then he backed off. Everything was fine until, in 2024, he demanded to be recognized as the father. After he won, custody was shared. Since the judges say we're in a 'stalemate,' even though I have physical custody, custody was handed over to social services."
Which means what exactly? "They've taken over decision-making for my daughter. Plus, every week, she's forced to meet her dad, accompanied by a social worker, in a room at the town hall."
How's that been going? "Not great, she always emerges upset. Once, he even threatened me, saying he'd win custody."
You scared, ducky? "Crikey, you bet. As much for myself, but especially for my daughter. When I finish work, my parents escort me, and when I get home, I check if he's hiding in the attic, intending harm."
What were you thinking during your time together? "I kept quiet, believing he could change. I always gave him another chance. You think it might happen one day. These sorts of people manipulate you."
And how'd he do that? "If I didn't prepare dinner by six, it was a disaster. I funded almost everything at home. I couldn't go grocery shopping with my mom. If I wore a dress, he'd insult me. I thought he was right: even now, if I wear a low-cut top, I feel uncomfortable. He dragged me out of university."
What'll you tell your daughter when she's older? "I'll share my story with her. In a few years, she'll need to know how the world works to avoid making the same mistakes."
Feel like a survivor, do you? "Yep. Back then, I recorded everything, thinking, 'If he kills me, the evidence will save him.'"
Institutions, they failed you, right? "You got it. I told my little ones my tale to make them realize that violence is often lurking just outside your view."
Insights:
Shared custody in cases of domestic violence in Italy can have profound implications, encompassing various legal aspects. Here's a brief overview of the legal landscape affecting such cases:
Legal Basis
- Domestic Violence Law: Italy has laws addressing domestic violence, featuring provisions for victim protection.
- Court Jurisdiction: The court considers the child's habitual residence to determine jurisdiction, which follows international standards to some degree.
Custody Decisions
- Child's Best Interests: Courts base custody arrangements on what they perceive as being in the child's best interests, typically stressing protection from domestic violence.
- Restraining Orders: A restraining order may limit parent-to-parent contact, complicating co-parenting and potentially impacting custody arrangements.
Legal Assistance
- Legal Advice: Seeking legal assistance from a family lawyer specializing in domestic violence cases can be crucial for navigating custody disputes.
Support Services
- Victim Support: Italy offers various resources for victims of domestic violence, including legal aid and counseling. These programs can help individuals navigate legal complexities and access necessary protection.
- Anna, not her real name, has been a single mother for three years, teaching at a high school in Asti, and she is always on high alert, as she was in a 'catch-22' situation where she is forced to bring her daughter to meetings with her ex-husband, who refuses to acknowledge their daughter.
- Anna's ex-husband used to threaten her continuously, even when they were together, and he gave her a beating, causing her to lose five pregnancies.
- In the realm of health and wellness, Anna's traumatic relationship experiences have affected her mental health and general news, as well as her parenting and sexual health.
- Anna's ex-husband was found guilty of abuse and sentenced to two years in prison, but the sentence was later reduced to 20 days for personal violence and continuous threats.
- The Italian legal system shows a paradoxical approach towards shared custody cases involving domestic violence, as Anna's custody was handed over to social services despite her having physical custody.
- Social services now make the decisions for Anna's daughter, and the girl is forced to meet her father every week, which upsets her immensely.
- Anna's traumatic experiences have made her wary of her surroundings, and she fears for both her and her daughter's safety, even insisting that her parents escort her after work and check if her ex-husband is hiding in her house.
- Anna believes that sharing her story with her daughter in the future will help her avoid making the same mistakes, as she hopes to impart lessons about navigating the complexities of family health, crime, and justice, especially in cases of domestic violence.
